What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden? Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow. Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?Ĭosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. What’s green, fuzzy, and would hurt if it fell on you out of a tree? …and a lifetime ban from the New York City Zoo. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?Ī cat has claws at the end of its paws. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?Īnyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup! I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.īut when I got home, all the signs were there. What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? What is Harry Potter’s favorite method of getting down a hill? What’s the stupidest animal in the jungle? “How far do you think I can kick this bucket?” I still remember what my grandpa said right before he kicked the bucket: Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by. Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way. If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $ 6.30 now. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.ĭon’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? So what if I don’t know what “Armageddon” means? I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence. The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention. That way, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
#Funny jokes for adults clean how to
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?” Have you heard the one about the bad pole-vaulter? Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.Ī man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? I got fired from my job at the bank today.Īn old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger… What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…